Everyday Musings, Life

What Makes Someone Unattractive

“The world likes to tell us not to be judgmental. To be kind and tolerant, loving and forgiving. But what they want and what they’re actually willing to do are two very different things. At the core, the world is shallow. They want physical beauty.”

― Rachael Wade

We’re naturally attracted to people and things that look physically beautiful. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. However, it is definitely wrong to presume that people who look good, have a good character and personality too.

Someone being attractive or unattractive is a thing of perception. Something that varies from person to person. What might be attractive for one, might not be so for someone else and vice-versa. Having said that, I do believe that there are certain habits, actions, choices, and character traits that make all and sundry, unattractive. Here, I’m going to talk about three such behavioral traits.

Someone being attractive or unattractive is a thing of perception. Something that varies from person to person. What might be attractive for one, might not be so for someone else

1. Not taking criticism or rejection well

Let me be honest here. I was this person a few years back and I dislike that version of myself currently. This is because of the simple reason that this mindset did not allow me to grow. Now I understand and accept that not everyone is going to like me and my work. Now I know that one rejection doesn’t mean the end of the world. Having said that, I have always and now more so, find people who assume they know the best, to be really unattractive.

People who argue when confronted or don’t own up to their mistakes and faults are a big no-no for me.

They not only try to put their thoughts and choices as the best possible option. But also, undermine anyone else’s actions and opinions.

Let me share a personal experience on similar lines. I was once visiting an uncle whose house was undergoing some renovation. When I went around, he seemed to be having an argument with one of the laborers. In an effort to smoothen things out, I asked what the problem was. My uncle very loudly and quite rudely put the laborer down by blaming him for a mistake in the freshly done walls. Apparently, the color he had chosen and the color that the laborer had ended up painting the walls with, were not the same. The laborer tried to put his put point forth, but my uncle was just not ready to listen. After asking my uncle to stay calm, I asked the laborer what the matter was. From his confession, it became quite apparent to me that my uncle had not been clear with his instructions. I explained this to my uncle and despite my best efforts and even after realizing that it was his fault and not the laborer’s, he never apologized. He just grunted, shouted out some instructions about making the corrections, and walked away.

Another classic example of such behavior is when someone, especially a guy is turned down by us when they ask us out. Does that sound familiar? I’m sure something like this has happened with us all. From that point on, did that person not become a little less likable in your eyes?

2. Not being a good listener

Who doesn’t like unburdening their heart and getting a sympathetic ear? But some people don’t understand that this works both ways. If you want someone to listen to you, you gotta listen to them, once in a while too. And if you can’t or won’t do that, I’m sorry but you’re just not a good person and in my opinion, unattractive.

3. Being an ‘all talk, no show’ person

We are social animals. To live and survive, we need each other’s company and support. Sometimes this support could just be by being there for those who need empathy.

I can go beyond the fingers of my hands and feet if I count the instances when someone who said, “You can call me anytime you’re in trouble”, but when I did call them in my hour of need, they came up with the most ridiculous excuses for not being available. I’m sure you have had to face such people and circumstances too.

Honestly, this just shows the other person’s character in poor light. And for me, such personalities are highly unattractive.

Of course, you might disagree with these. You may also feel that these aren’t strong enough reasons to dislike someone or that a few more mannerisms are to be added to the list.

I’d be happy to know your thoughts on these lines so please feel free to comment and let me know.

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Thank you for reading.

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