Bookish Witch

Tongue-in-Cheek: The Funny Side of Life by Khyrunnisa A.

Book blurb:

A fun collection of short articles that deals with everyday experiences in a humorous fashion, Tongue-in-Cheek has something for every reader. Each piece offers an entertaining inside account of the experiences and misadventures of an urban woman. These easily relatable pieces on day-to-day encounters are a quick pick-me-up to drive stress away and look at the world with a chuckle. A light and easy read, the book encourages readers to laugh along. Khyrunnisas unique take on things and her humorous observations make for a delightfully light-hearted read, which would resonate with readers.

Genre: Nonfictional/Anecdotal Humor

Pages: 196

Format: Kindle eBook/Paperback

Price:

  • Kindle eBook: 194.75 INR/$3.99
  • Paperback:205 INR/$ 12.95

My Ratings: 4.7/5

This is a series of delightful anecdotes from the daily life of the author. From making sandwiches, to finding a parking spot, and from growing organic vegetables at home to visiting the dentist, each incident will either leave you in splits or chuckling.

A humorous look at everyday incidents.

What I liked about the book:
–> Reading the book makes you feel nostalgic for a slower, simpler life and enjoying the little things in life.
–> The funny styles, puns, and non-stop commentary on decently simple things in life, makes this book highly relatable, especially for the Indian readers.
–>With just a few words, the author has skillfully written about a number of quirky characters who flit in and out of the many anecdotes and leave you charmed with their many quirks.

What I did not like about the book:
–> Unlike most books I’ve read recently this book is not a one-sitting read which can be finished in a day or two. You’ll need time to really appreciate the content and each incident.
–> Some anecdotes seemed repetitive in their topics.

Quotable quotes:
—> The fridge isn’t just a necessity but a store house of culinary relicts, and a pressure cooker doesn’t merely cook; it sometimes exhibits unique skills and moves off the stove to perform an impressive dance. Heating food in the microwave could well result in the manufacture of military arsenal, having fish in a tank can lead to solving an unusual murder mystery and cutting vegetables for a salad could be a lesson in beauty treatment!
—> Auto drivers are actually philosophers in disguise, neighbours stun you with their architectural expertise, waiters speak volumes through the language of silence and gas delivery men wear a cloak of invisibility.
—> Certain menu cards make delightful mistakes and offer you very diverting fare. I remember coming across ‘sweat’ cakes under the heading ‘Evening Snakes’ which made me very curious about morning snakes.
—> It is a truth universally acknowledged that if a rubber band has to break, it will, and conversely, if it doesn’t wish to, it won’t.
—> Sometimes when you cook under time constraints, the food turns out tastier.
—> the problem with eggs is that they are fragile. They break easily. They haven’t been taught manners, they crack without a warning. They don’t know that self-respecting eggs ought not to cave in to outside force without fighting back. Bringing eggs home without breaking any, was a cause for celebration. And celebration was always in the form of breaking an egg for an omelette.
—> Call it sadistic pleasure, ignorance or sheer carelessness, some assistants love to deposit delicate food items like bread, plantains and eggs right at the bottom.
—> He doesn’t know I’m actually a hopeful cook; I keep hoping my cooking gets better or the taste buds of those on whom I experiment get worse.
—> The bride, the groom and the ceremony are mere trappings; the feast is the thing. The wedding feast is a great leveller. Class, caste and gender distinctions are ignored while good manners are thrown to the winds in this mad rush to sit reverentially before the banana leaf. These days it’s not just feasting that is important, but telling the whole world you have feasted.
—> If you chance to glance at the stage as you leave with a satisfied burp, you might find the bride and groom in a corner looking lost, waiting patiently to be led to the dining hall.
—> INVITATIONS TO WEDDINGS start trickling in once the mating season, I mean the wedding season, sets in.
—> My husband greets any reminder of a wedding to attend with a heartfelt groan that speaks volumes. I know he’s already agonising over where to park the car. He’s not being paranoid—parking is not easy even on a normal day, and when a big fat wedding is on, it is next to impossible.
—> I’ve never heard women drivers complain about it. ‘That’s because they park just about anywhere,’ my husband retorts. ‘And get away with it too.’ I don’t respond to this gender biased remark; there is some truth in it.
—> It is every vegetarian’s mission in life to convert non-vegetarians to their ilk.
—> For some odd reason, I link the word flab with blub or blubber and by association, the robust whale.
—> My first concern was what to wear—a woman’s eternal problem.
—> You’ve got to spend more time on your feet than in your seat.
—> Interestingly, it is believed that women live longer than men because the housework they do keeps them on their feet. Alas, in their fight for equal rights, they are squandering this vital advantage over men; their desk jobs are making them as vulnerable as men to lifestyle diseases.
—> The digital stage has been keeping time to the tune of, ‘here an app, there an app, everywhere an app app…’The smartphone is an ’appening place with apps for every need and for every age—babysitting, education, news, travel, self-help, shopping, sports, games, movies, cookery, fitness… you name it, they have it.
—> Whatever people might say about Aadhaar, there is no denying that its photos have provided much merriment throughout the country. There is no photoshopping here, only photoshocking.
—> ‘YOU HAVE ROTATOR cuff tear. It could be rotator cuff tendinitis.’
That sounded imposing. I never knew I had a cuff in me that could rotate, tear or ‘tendinite’. I’ve always associated cuffs with sleeves, so what’s a cuff doing inside me, and rotating at that?
—> A doctor friend had once remarked bitterly that the internet is the bane of doctors. Patients no longer come for consultations. They have diagnosed what is wrong, know the treatment and presumptuously tell the doctor what medicines to prescribe.
—> That’s the charm of a lady’s handbag. Its innumerable compartments have been cleverly crafted to convert every simple search into a complicated detective game. The puzzle regarding which section would yield the desired article is solved, like any good mystery, only when the intensive search is complete. Inevitably it is discovered in the last pouch examined. No woman can complain of boredom as long as she owns such a bag.
—> Mobile phones—reading or sending messages, watching videos or checking out the innumerable options a smart phone provides—it is a single-instrument entertainer.
—> WHICH HOMEMAKER WILL not go into rhapsodies at the mention of a pressure cooker? This excellent labour-, time- and fuel-saving device that is the kitchen god’s gift to harried cooks is a most handy possession.
—> Indians believe in cooking for a battalion at the slightest opportunity.
—> The refrigerator taught us magic—how to stretch a single meal over many days. It gave us many practical lessons in physics, chemistry and biology. Solids would change into liquids and then to gas. The process of fermentation became clear especially when gravitation took the fermented batter through two shelves to the vegetable compartment, cleaning which taught me how long it takes for mutated life forms to invade vegetables in cold environs. It gave us geography lessons too. It had its own frigid zone—the freezer looked like a piece of Antarctica, the icy peaks left no space for any foreign matter. It honed our carpentry skills; we had to chip off the ice in the freezer.
—> MY HUSBAND AND I often have these highly intellectual debates that range from whether it is safer to clean your ears with a toothpick or with a hairpin, or if it is necessary to wash one’s hands before eating when you’re going to do that after your meal anyway, to whether loudspeakers are louder during political campaigns than during religious festivals or if a microwave oven is more useful than a fridge.
—> I LIKE DOGS… from a distance. The greater the distance, the more amicably disposed I am towards them. I have nothing against dogs, man’s best friends and all that, but I wish they’d leave me alone.
—> I’ve noticed dog owners are baffled that the whole world doesn’t love their dogs with a fervour equalling their own.
—> Such is the sanctity of a handkerchief when used to indicate a ‘booked’ seat that no one dared pick it up or shove it aside.
—> I HEARD SOMEONE observe the other day that men have drive but no direction. I would like to alter that to ‘men can drive but won’t ask for directions.’ This is strictly based on home experience, but my friends assure me their spouses are no different.
—> IN MY HOUSE, a simple task like looking for a newspaper becomes a job that could stump MI6.
—> One gets to read newspapers in a variety of unconventional ways. Who hasn’t come across juicy tidbits in newspapers wrapped around their roadside purchases? Or sensational news items in paper cones that they buy from peanut sellers?
—> My husband is a physisaphile. In case the word is Greek to you, it is…er… Greek for one who loves plants and animals.
—> THE GOLDEN RULE when you step into a shop, especially one that sells cosmetics, is to know exactly what you want. The modus operandi, then, is simple. You ask for the item, give it a quick once-over, pay the bill, grab the packet and get the hell out of the place. Hesitate a little, and you are done for.
—> ‘My hair is wavy, not curly.’ I like to get these things straight.
—> A woman can often get away with things by citing her husband’s disapproval, but it doesn’t work the other way around.
—> If the pen is mightier than the sword, then a free pen is not to be sneezed at.
—> My house is cluttered with useless things either got free or bought at bargain sales.
—> Don’t autocorrect and its older companion spell check delight in making fools of us all? When a friend tried to use his cousin’s name, ‘Mrinal’, in a mail, spell check claimed to know better and insisted it had better be ‘urinal’. An ‘erratic schedule’ was excitingly altered to an ‘erotic schedule’ and a happy marriage ran into rough weather when a woman’s birthday wishes for her ‘dear’ husband became ghoulish wishes for her ‘dead’ husband.
—> WHEN RAINS FORCE you to stay indoors for long hours, you resort to board games, or are they bored games? No game tries your patience like Scrabble.
—> In Scrabble you have to reckon with more than one opponent, each with their special quirk. I am yet to find a quiet, quick player who is satisfied with the tiles they have drawn.
—> I spend so much time in front of the open fridge, kitchen cupboards, almirahs, book shelves and drawers trying to remember what I’d come for, that I’m sure if I timed myself, I would be a prime contender for the Guinness Maximum Time Spent In Front Of Cupboards Wondering Why You Were Standing There Scratching Your Head record.
—> I don’t know how many men receive compliments when they wear nice shirts but when a woman wears a pretty saree, it is imperative to praise her impeccable taste.

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